My Writing Blog

I love “Iron Man” and I have seen the movie. My favorite quote would have to be:

“What is your legacy?”

-Obadiah Stane (Leslie Bibb)

What do you think?

Hi!

I am a student dedicating this blog to my English class and teacher. Some of my English assignments will require me to use this blog. So please, read and give me a few pointers about my writing. Thank You!

 

Our Mad English Language

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

On fowl is a goose, but two are geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called me,

Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you my a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three be those,

Yet a hat in the plural would never be a hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methern.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis, shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor – Anon ham in hamburger;

Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren’t invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore paradoxes,

We find that quick sand can work slowly.

Boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it writer write but fingers don’t fing,

Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same

While a wise man and a wise guy be opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

In which your house can burn up as it burns down,

In which you fill in a form by filling it out,

And in which the alarm goes off by going on.

So if Father is Pop, how come Mother isn’t Mop?

 

And that is just the beginning – even though this is the end!

 

-Anon